UNTIL NEXT TIME...

So I'm thinking this might be my last post for a while. So be prepared for a long one. Things are non-stop busy here and I hope to focus on Alexa and Aleyah Derartu.

...Over the next several days in Ethiopia we had a bit of a shock. Derartu was doing a lot of "acting out." I won't go into details because it just saddens me to remember how traumatic the whole experience was. So...maybe this post won't be as long as I thought.

I don't know what it feels like to be a four-year-old girl who has experienced all that this child has. Poverty. Death of a mother. Rejection by a father. Orphanage #1. Orphanage #2. And any other undisclosed trauma. How is a child supposed to behave when she is "dumped off" yet again, to some American couple? What did we truly expect? Well, for one, we didn't expect what too k place that week. We were given a crash course in parenting 101 for a "strong-willed" child. It was crazy. It was exhausting. To be honest, we thought we made the biggest mistake of our life. Derartu was very sweet and affectionate one minute, then a bit destructive the next. We were held hostage in our room for the rest of the week because Derartu wanted nothing to do with the outside world. We were unable to have the traditional dinner with the other families because Derartu was too high-maintenance and we didn't think we would be able to control her. We thought the stimulation might be a bit too much for her. We also didn't want to ruin the experience for the other families. While in our room...we tried all that we could to keep her entertained and content. Not much worked. Did I mention it was exhausting? I did all the work because she wanted nothing to do with Steve. She even took a few swings at him. It got to a point that all Steve was able to do was to sit on a chair and watch tv without making any eye-contact with her. She wouldn't let him help with anything. Was this really what God had in mind for us? All we could think about was our "perfect" life, which was not so perfect by the way, flash before our eyes. We were about to bring extreme chaos to our peaceful home. It was a scary reality. This wasn't all that we dreamed it would be. We felt dooped. It was even worse when we were on our way home.

The airport experience was probably the worst. Derartu was a loose cannon and took off running everywhere. Many times I had to wrestle her up off the floor. She kicked and screamed for all to see and hear as we inched our way through one line after another. At one point I just started to cry. Steve could do nothing. He was holding our carry-ons and knew if he intervened she would just scream louder. I was a sweaty mess trying to keep her controlled. Steve was a sweaty mess because he was anxious of course. Exhausted and frustrated, I found some seats and sat down. An Ethiopian woman sat next to me and asked, "What is the problem?" I sat there with Derartu upon my knee bouncing her while I tried to hold in my sobs. "It's been a long week." was all I could say. She nodded and sat quiet. We eventually boarded the plane with screaming child in tow. Every flight attendant watched us board with real concern on their faces. The passengers watched with dread. We found our seats and sat her down between us. I flopped in my seat, spent and beat. Derartu found buttons and started pressing every single one. I didn't care, because for a short while she was quiet. Praise God that our flight left at 10:30 pm and Derartu slept about nine hours. Now we had ten to go. The flight didn't get better...it got worse. I cried some more and realized that a woman sitting next to me cried also. She no doubt saw my every effort to keep Deratu entertained. It was a long flight and too much to ask for for a four-year-old. I was just so glad to finally arrive back home.

Derartu recognized the our house from photos. She was elated and giggled all through the house. She went from room to room giggling. When she entered her room she first looked at me and skipped in giggling. She ran straight to her drawers and pulled out several articles of clothing. This girl loves clothes, jewlery, lip gloss, lotion, barrettes and headbands. Yeah, Steve is in big trouble. She was now home. This was her new beginning. This was our new beginning.

It has been about a month and things are progressing well. Aleyah Derartu has adjusted better than we have. We are all facing BIG change. We are constantly busy moving from one activity to another. We are all beat by the end of the day. Busyness is very normal with a pre-schooler in the house. We forgot how busy life was when Alexa was this age. Aleyah Derartu's behavior has improved greatly. We have several challenges a day but nothing like those in Ethiopia. So now that we have all claimed our places in our home, let me tell you exactly how I feel about Aleyah Derartu.

Aleyah, to me, is a jewel, still yet to be polished. God has great plans for this child and I, we, get to be a part of it. This little girl is not only beautiful, but smart as well. I can't believe how quickly she has learned English in such a short amount of time. Her vocabulary is still very limited but she can understand just about everything we say. Here are a few things she understands: Throw it in the trash; Sit down; let's brush your teeth; not that one, this one; turn on the light; turn off the light; do you want some water?; are you hungry?; do you want to go for a walk?; do you want to go to the park?; do you want to talk to Grandma Linda on the phone?; do you want to go to the store?; do you want to go swimming?; do you want your goggles?; Jump in the pool; go put your shoes on. Here are a few things she says on her own: not this one, this one; bush teeth; juice; wah-no (water); in trash; pool; babysuit; goggles; park; squirrel up in the tree; no Misha; come on, Misha; Mickey Nouse; Minnie Mouse ( she can say mouse when it comes to Minnie, but Nouse when it comes to Mickey); bath; book; parts of the body and so on.... I am amazed at how quickly we are communicating. One morning I sneezed and she said, "Blesh shu." She knows how to say please, thank you and you're welcome. Another time she said, "Mommy, I luf-uh you (I love you)." Of course my heart melted. So language is coming along quite well.

I can go on and on about just how smart she is, because she is. You show her how something works one time and she will retain it immediately. For example, she watched Alexa swim under water and followed shortly after. She is definitely a little fish when it comes to water. But the thing that I love most about her is her affection. She is not at all stingy with her kisses, hugs and snuggles. She is very loving and will just come up to one of us to kiss us. That suits us fine because we are quite the affectionate family. She has been a joy, but of course, not all the time. We still have battles as I mentioned before. We are constantly reminded that she is testing us. Little does she know, I do quite well when it comes to tests. ;) Everyday brings new things.

This journey has had many twists and turns. I questioned God many times and wondered why He thought we were the right family for her. God reminds me that we, with all our faults, are still loved by Him. God never once said, "Hey, I have this great plan for you and it will be the easiest thing you ever did in your life." No. What I heard him say, or "felt" him say was this, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me..." Luke 9:23 Christ's cross was a heavy burden, but He took it up and paid the cost, so that we could be adopted into His family. We have our challenges and our cross is heavy and often burdensome...but we willfully follow.