It's Been A While...

My last post was quite some time ago. So what am I doing here? I've been restless. I've been searching. I've been depressed (not clinically, but I know when I'm feeling depressed). I've been not well. I've been hoping. I've been thinking. I've been dreaming.  And today, as I was about to take a nap on the couch, with eyes closed, I prayed, "Lord, you know that I want to use my gifts, my experiences, and my interests to show others who you are to me. But I have no idea how to do that.  I don't know what I should be doing. You put a love for writing in me. You put a love for reading in me (I read a LOT. I just love words. Period.) So, what can I do with those interests?" With my eyes still closed I waited for an answer. Too impatient to wait, I went on, "I know that I am a good teacher to my children (I homeschool my youngest). And I have no intention on walking away from that right now. BUT I want to do something that is MINE. I want to do something that I enjoy.  I like to write. (I then thought of some other interests of mine.) I really enjoy photography, too.  But how do I use those things to show who you are in my life?" And as I lay there, this thought came to mind....'Blog.'  I opened my eyes and thought, well, yeah, I've done that and then I lose interest or feel that others may not really care what I have to say.  And another thought came to mind: 'you wanted a hobby that was all yours, right? Then why worry about those who don't care. Do it because you enjoy it and NEED a desperate creative outlet.' And so I got up and turned on my computer, opened up my blog and something marvelous happened. My fingers went wild over the keyboard! Thoughts of all I have been through and all that I have battled and all that I have questioned ran through my mind. 

I thought of my journey.  The journey that has brought me to this place of motherhood. The journey of becoming a more loving wife. The journey that has kept me home for eleven years. The journey of becoming Me.

It will not always be deep. It will not always be witty (trust me, wit is really not my forte). What I hope it does become is...just genuine Me. Maybe my journey will look similar to yours. Maybe it will be completely opposite. But the real hope is that others will see Christ in my life! And perhaps my life experiences and my insight on who Christ is to me, will bring others closer to Him. That is my true hope.


The below photo is my favorite from a recent trip to Tennessee.  The backdrop is beautiful! But it's the bridge that speaks to me.  It says, "The journey is not always easy. In fact, often times it is downright painful. But with Christ, a bridge is always provided."

Feels great to be back!!