Self-Control, Idleness and Contentment

Before I get started with today's post, I'm really bummed that for whatever reason, I'm unable to post comments on MY blog and on others at the moment.  Discouraging.  Not sure what I'm doing wrong.  But anyway, thanks for your comments.  I enjoy learning of things we all have in common.  Sara, thank you sooo much for your prayers and I hope you guys take care of those bushes.  "Porching" brings lasting memories.  However, I know you have a pretty awesome backyard!  :)

Do you sometimes feel discouraged about being a stay-at-home mom (if you are one that is)?  I have.  I've shared how much I struggled with it.  Yet when I was six months pregnant with Alexa I would fantasize about it.  Of course I was working at the time.  Funny how that works, huh?  I remember very vividly having my lunch at a nearby park.  This was in California.  The park was nestled in a quiet suburb.  I took notice of a house that was not only beautiful, but special in some way.  This particular house on this particular day spoke to me.  Let me explain, before you think I'm nuttier than you thought.  The house "told me" that inside its walls lived a family.  See not so strange.  I remember the air was crisp.  This house looked very warm and inviting.  I could see movement in the house and I guessed that the woman of the home didn't work.  At that moment I envied her.  For some reason I imagined her having a teenage daughter.  I imagined them sharing many moments in the kitchen, baking or preparing dinner together.  At this moment, eating my sandwich, with a baby in my tummy, is when I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.

Fast forward three years later...I get my wish.  We move to Illinois, where cost of living is a lot more affordable than the "keeping up with the Jones' " mentality of California (not that that mentality is not rooted here, because IT IS)... It's not what I had imagined.  You see, I was bored.  I felt unappreciated.  I felt unworthy.  I felt lonely.  I resented my "job."  I became bitter about all the cleaning and cooking and laundry and grocery shopping I had to do.  I felt like I was being taken advantage of.  Don't get me wrong, some of it I did enjoy.  I enjoyed decorating my house and spending money to do it.  Fun, fun, fun!  But that, I'm afraid, is fleeting. 

Women around me seemed to love being home.  Their rah, rah attitude about staying home annoyed me.  Okay, truth is, I envied their content attitude.  I just could not find it.  And I searched.

I see this post is getting way too long and long posts discourage me so let me leave you with this:

WORTHWHILE WORK

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done, whether you like it or not.  Being forced to work, and forced to do your best will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and contentment, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know.  ~Charles Kingsley

Self-control and appreciating the gift I have to be home with my girls encourages me to be less idle. To get up and do.  Because there is a lot to be doing.  I can do it with gratefulness or discontent.  I choose gratefulness because after all, God DID give me what I desired years ago.  And for that I owe Him my best.

To be continued...