PRIDE (This is a long one)

Steve and Alexa are at a soccer game and I'm here struggling with my own thoughts. Just so you know, I feel great and I can only give credit to God. When I first started this blog in March, I was eager to take you on this journey with us. When I look back at past events I see a pattern of amazing scenarios that could only be orchestrated by God...well, that is my opinion. If you have been following my blog you probably know me more intimately than most others by now. You may wonder why I continue to share the good, the bad and the ugly. All I can say to that is this, I feel my life experiences may encourage others to Hold Fast. I'm just an ordinary person with very common experiences. They may not be common to yours, but to someone, they may be. So what is on my mind this evening??

I shared with you the news about our second denial for financial assistance. Well, all I can say about finances is... BLAH!! I'm so sick of thinking about dollars. Maybe you can relate to that in whatever situation you face today. Well I'm with you. This adoption has brought me to my knees countless times and I feel I need to share my thoughts on finances for our adoption. We, unfortunately are prideful in the money department ( I don't mean prideful in the amount of money we have, obviously that is not the case). And I know I'm not alone with that. I don't like to ask for financial help and think I would rather go without than to ask for help. Well I feel God is giving us a lesson in humility. Again...BLAH!! So this evening we stepped out and swallowed our pride and asked for help. It was not easy. Let me try to explain the struggle.

We received a fundraising kit from Lifesong for Orphans. At this point, this is the only assistance available to us. It was not easy to construct a letter and even harder to click the send button. It took me two hours to finally click send. There were tears. I don't share this for sympathy or pity, I share because I know I can't be the only one who feels helpless sometimes. I feel fine about it now. God led me to to some blogs where I saw countless others raising money for different causes. Why was it so hard for us to get on board with fundraising? It may be because we have always been self-sufficient and this was confirmation that we can not do this on our own. It's been a bitter admission. But lesson learned...we can't do this on our own. At this point, letters are out and circulating and now we wait to see the Holy Spirit move. God will have His glory, not us.

Before I sent out the fundraising info, I prayed. I prayed for God to throw away all negative feelings that we or others may have. I prayed for this experience to be joyful. I can't explain how at peace I am. I'm done thinking about funding. God has been whispering to us to do this and we have been looking for another way.

On a good note, we have had no troubles with paperwork. Steve and I were talking about how people who are able to fund their entire adoption may have faced roadblocks in other areas, such as paperwork. Even when we were faced with the possibility of two trips, God intervened and has moved things at lightening speed to get us to our daughter in one trip. Our home study was going to be held up due to California clearances. We were told that it could take up to a month to get the clearance. Twenty-four hours later, we get an e-mail to disregard. We were told to have our dossier completed in four months. We had it completed in two months. We thought maybe we should just hold on to it until the deadline so we could save more money. Steve felt like we should just send it in and see what happens. Once it is received we get a call informing us that it has been approved and by the way we have a little girl for your family. We get our passports on the day our caseworker says it is time for travel. We learn that we still need to pass homeland security and pray for a quick fingerprint appointment. After fingerprints, we pray for quick processing. Our caseworker is ready to send us to Ethiopia but we still need approval from USCIS (approval for Aleyah's visa). She tells Steve to call the senator to try and get it expedited but he doesn't get a chance to. The following day we receive approval from USCIS in the mail. Everything moving at lightening speed! Even when we tried to slow things down, it kept moving at a pace we felt we couldn't keep up with. But God reminds us, "You can't do it, but I can." Well that's what I think.

We started our home study in October. Here we are, six months later, everything complete! I'm not anxious anymore about finances. As a matter of fact, I won't speak of it anymore. God's got it all under control. Friends, thank you for every uttered prayer. Our God is listening.

"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it..." Philippians 1:6

At this point everything is paid, but travel. We would not be in this position if this took place in the fall. It seems though, that God has other plans. It may be because all families adopting from Ethiopia will soon be taking two trips. We are looking to raise money to buy three airline tickets, two for Steve and I and one for Aleyah.

If you feel led to donate to our cause make check payable to Lifesong: preference donation by writing "preference Rain Adoption #1124" in the memo section of your check.

Mail to:
Lifesong for Orphans
P.O. Box 40
Gridley, Il. 61744

Thank you for your consideration.

GODSPEED TO AFRICA! (as my friend Lynn always says) GODSPEED TO AFRICA!