Weight A Minute: A Reality Check

Needed to do a little write up on ME. I usually have tons to say about the kids and how we have adjusted with Alayah. I will be honest, the last two years have been brutal. Financially we have spent the most we have ever spent, EVER, in one year; Emotionally, I don't know if I'm "okay" or if I'm really just confused...lol; Physically, I'm sometimes barely breathing; Spiritually...oh gee, where do I even begin?



Let's tackle the finances first. Steve feels that this year will be a year of PAYING OFF debts owed (that means zero balances...oh, I pray so). We will be very shocked to see any amount saved (that's just the way the cookie crumbles this year. Next year will be better). Emotionally, I'm doing well. I sometimes have days that just get away from me. The laundry piles up, the dust accumulates a little more and meals are just "junk" because it's quicker, which sometimes leaves me feeling a little less than "perfect." Spiritually...well, I continue to grow and I'm in continued amazement by how much I have learned. I've had some stubborn moments, some of which I'm still working on, but overall...I'm listening. I know I'll want to share much of those discoveries later (I know I keep saying that).



What brings me to this post, is this:





Do any of these books look familiar to you? These are just a few books that I own on weight management. I must confess that I have probably checked out every book written on the matter at my library...UGH. I don't know exactly why I keep reading these books!! With highlighter in hand I mark every sentence that I feel very insightful. But why? Why do I keep reading one book after another about weight loss when I used to look like this?

Me in my VERY floral dress.

Yes, I was a lot younger. My early twenties were all about vanity. Am I the only one with that confession?? I ran three to five miles, five days a week. I ate one frozen meal (Lean Cuisine or Weight Watchers ) and a snack a day, consuming maybe 500 calories a day. Sound extreme? It was. I so desperately wanted to get my weight down to double digits, which I succeeded at. I was obsessed with my scale, my dress size and my measurements...Something happened though. At twenty-five-years-old, I thought it was time to start a family. So I got pregnant and this happened:

I knew I couldn't continue on 500 calories. I wanted a healthy baby...and so...I ate. I gained weight quickly and had the worst case of edema ever!! I didn't want to starve my baby...so my body decided to hold on to EVERYTHING, just in case I got the notion to starve myself again one day.

Since then, it has been up and down...mostly up, sadly. I have NO desire to be as thin as I was. It is waaay too hard to maintain and frankly, Steve said I looked like a little girl. hahaha. I have had some brief moments of a comfortable and healthy weight over the past thirteen years, which looked something like this:

Unfortunately, the year that we decided to adopt....things started to change. The stress increased (believe me when I say I was STRESSED). Of course when you are stressed you tend to eat more to take your mind off of the stress...right? On top of the stress...I got older (why does that have to happen?). Losing weight was beginning to be a lot harder! Maaaaybe, if I was a bit more active I wouldn't have struggled so much. Then again, everything seems a little harder when your older. :(

This past October my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and later in the year, Steve's dad had a double bypass (I did say a brutal two years). That is when the Reality Check came into play. I'm not getting younger. It's no longer about vanity. I need to eat for health not for pleasure. I need to workout for my heart, not my thighs (however, my thighs really DO need the workout). I need to do something about this:

Meeting Alayah (Derartu) for the first time in May 2010.

Keep in mind that this position is not flattering for anyone. :)

Steve says it's vanity pounds. It used to be...but not anymore. It's time. Time to shed thirty pounds (I think, because I don't weigh myself, EVER). I don't know, maybe twenty would be enough. I think I need to get on that scale. UGH!

(pretend you don't notice my streaked mirror.:()

What about you? Are you ready to be healthy for health and not for vanity? Are you ready to give your body the best chance against disease? Are you ready to look ten years younger (oh, wait...that sounds vain). Are you ready to FEEL ten years younger?

I'll let you in on a secret: I will be turning the big 4-0 this year. Before you know it I will be fifty!! 50! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!! Okay ladies...so that is what is going on with ME. Hope I'm not the only one.

*I will be keeping regular posts on my progress. I hope to even do some video posts.