Cocooning



I wanted to share our Transition conference call that we had this past Thursday. We spoke with AGCI's educator, Mindy, who gave us some very good information. Steve and I have read a lot of literature about adoption and what one could expect. We also took several required online classes (six if you're counting), completed a one hundred and sixty page workbook and attended a ten hour international adoption class. Remember, that's where we met Barry? Needless to say, we felt that we had received great information and were wondering why we would need a conference call about transition...So glad we did! Everything that we had read and learned through classes, in some ways, had been pushed aside in our minds due to the more "important" things. This conference call is perfect because it reminds you that it is not all about paperwork and finances. A young child, who does not know you, will be a member of your family forever. It is quite a lot for a small child to comprehend. She will no doubt be confused. Not only was she removed from her home, but she went to another orphanage before she went to Hannah's Hope. She will be removed again, taken from her caregivers and her friends and will find herself with new strangers. Even though we believe life for Aleyah will be better here with us in the States, there will be a transition period.


That is where "cocooning" comes in. The advice that the experts give is to allow three to six months of getting to know each other before introducing to family and friends. What they have found is that if bonding and attachment is not established with the parents, the child could easily "cling" to others. I read a blog of another family who adopted a four-year-old from Ethiopia and their bonding period was about seven weeks. The mother regrets that decision. She shared a couple of examples. When they were at a family function, the child got hurt. The child's aunt was comforting her and when her mother approached them to give her comfort, the child pushed her away. She was already being tended to by another "caregiver." The other example was that the child would walk up to strangers and just hug them. She had no fear of strangers. So it is very important to cocoon, keeping her world small, until she has established who mom and dad are. Very interesting. So many other things to consider that I will share later.