Good Morning,

Where do I begin? Yesterday was a downer of a day. I shared with you that the finances have been a big challenge, as it should be. We often think that if we were able to complete every step of this adoption on our own time and with our own money, the glory would become ours and not our Creators. I had reservations on sharing what I'm about to share, but I can't have you all thinking that I am some "Super Woman" with unwavering faith. I have some great days, some okay days and some "what the heck" days. Yesterday was a "what the heck" day, which is strange in a way because Steve had several "what the heck" days this week. We have been checking the mail each day in hopes of news from the three financial assistant programs we applied to. Unfortunately, we only find the usual junk mail and everyday bills. Yesterday was a typical day until I checked the mail. I opened my box and was greeted with one lone envelope. I knew this was the one we had been waiting for. Steve was still at work and I couldn't wait for him, so I tore open the envelope to read, " We regret to inform you that we are unable to assist you at this time." Why was I surprised? Why was I crushed? I shouldn't have been, but I was. I thought for sure this was the organization that could help. Anyways, I sat there feeling angry and hurt. "What the heck?" When will we be able to truly enjoy this process? When will we be able to truly get excited about buying tickets to Ethiopia? When will God just do what He said He would do?!? It was one of those moments. I was angry and for a brief moment I thought, "Forget it, I'm not doing this." I say brief because I immediately saw "her" beautiful face in my mind and knew how foolish I was to even think of walking away from it. Can you relate to that sort of feeling? Feelings of something being too hard and you think that the one way to make it easy is to walk away from it?

As I mentioned, Steve was not home at the time, but I knew I could expect him in fifteen minutes. Alexa had a track meet so I had to get it together. Those fifteen minutes flew by and I was concerned about Steve's feelings when I told him about the letter. He saw that I had been crying and took the news very well. He said, "That's okay, He has another way." How awesome is that? I needed Steve to be strong in my moment of weakness and he was. He continued to encourage me by reminding me that we are at the home stretch and we are only looking at a small amount of money while others are faced with the daunting number that we faced a year and a half ago. He went on, "Remember what you always say, 'If it isn't in alignment with God's plan, then it will have to comply.'" He continued, "God never promised it would be easy, He just promised it would happen."

We hurried out the door to make it in time for Alexa's first event. I sat quiet and let Steve do all the talking. "We're gonna get our little girl soon, Mama...soon."